Heavy Heart.

I care about you. More than you'll ever know. I want you, all of you, no hesitation. I have my doubts, my  guard is up, protection from getting hurt. But is that the real reason? Am I afraid of you? .. or am I afraid of myself. I know what I'm capable of. I know what I want, but is that enough? These feelings I've been holding in are too much to bear at times. I want to protect us. I want you to want me, unconditionally. We've come so far, I don't want things to fall apart. Impulsive choices, matter of minutes, heavy on my heart. I don't want to hide things. You're my best friend. I want to be open and honest.  I want to focus on you, be with you. If only you could see right into my heart, you'll never have another doubt in your mind. I'm at a loss for words, I wish there was an easier way. I care way too much to hurt you. I don't want to. Maybe sometimes it's about facing fears and reality, and just taking it as it is. If things are meant to be they'll find its way. Just can't bare the thought of not having you. Torn. Confused. Scared. Can't be selfish. Gotta move forward. I want to do things the right way. I hope you know how much you mean to me. Always.