Fear it All.

You are the most stable thing I have in my life. When we get thrown off balance, everything comes crashing down. I refuse to have that feeling that everything is spiraling out of control. It's way too familiar to me. So I fight. I fight to keep us going. I fight to feel. I fight to make things right. You think I'm crazy. This is the only way I can keep sane. Knowing you love me. Knowing you need me. Knowing you care. You save me. I need you to show me. Show me your still in it til the end. Commitment. The pride of being with me. Shout it off the rooftop. The only girl in the world. The comfort of knowing you're with me makes all the other problems seem so small. Maybe it's too much for you. Maybe I shouldn't need this, shouldn't expect you to give it. This is who I am. Maybe I am crazy. I guess that's what happens when you care. When you have so much love for someone it's almost too much to handle. Can't be myself. Can't be happy. Can't be balanced, without you. Wish I had the perfect words to say to you. Wish I wasn't afraid of you. Afraid to say the wrong things. Afraid to make you stop loving me. So much going on that you have no idea about. I'm afraid to speak. So much commotion and things piling up, can't sort it all out. None of it makes sense. Hard to reach out. Need some security. You are my security. Without you I fear it all.  Wish you could hear me calling out to you.  Forgive me.