Just Can't Do It

I admire you. Everything you stand for I wish I could be. I look up to you. A best friend, a boyfriend a lover. How could I not get wrapped up in you. These feelings can't be controlled. Feelings so natural, can't imagine it'd be different for anyone else in my place. 

Maybe I'm dependent because I've never had stability. Family let downs, moving from friends, broken hearts. I'm vulnerable. I'ts all too familiar to me. I fight to stay strong, be independent, but its just not me. 

You made me fall. Hard. And this was what I've been ready for. But were not on the same level. It hurts. It hurts knowing I want you more than I'm wanted. It hurts to know I'm on the sidelines when I place you so high up. I don't know what you've endured, but I need to understand. A relationship will never succeed with differences like ours. 

Is this temporary or is this it? I love you, but how long can I hold onto something that I know won't last. All of these "temporary" situations are building up to be permanent. 

Always waiting. Just can't do it anymore.